I didn't make anything.

Except a lot of people mad.

I'm not even allowed in a few countries anymore. I haven't even been to them, they just got mad at me and made me promise to never go there. And I won't, as far as they know.

Nothing can stop what is about to come, however.

Robquently asked questions

What is Rob?

Yes.

How does your product/service work?

I don't even know.

How much does it cost?

If you have to ask, it's too expensive.

Do you offer [specific service inquiry]?

Unfortunately, [question seeker], I don't currently offer [specific service inquiry]. However, we do offer [profane euphemism] which might be helpful.

How can I contact you?

I'll probably be at your mom's house. Or yours.

Where can I learn more about you?

Why is this here, no one asks this...

”Rob broke into my house and kicked my old grandfather in the shins. My grandfather died.”

- Clarice Turner

”Why are you in my house? Please, please leave. I'm going to call the cops.”

- Brian Moten

”Ow! That's my shin, dumbass. Wait, how'd you get in here? I thought you were still in Miami.”

- Joyce Gould

[BEGIN LOG]

Sharon: I was minding my business when all of a sudden, this small man broke into my house and started attacking me. He wouldn't stop kicking me in the shins.

- Sharon Roddy

”I'm sorry, if there's a chance he's here I have to go. You can have the money back, I just have to leave.”

- Tairice Clurnler

”This can't be. He's supposed to be dead. I saw him die, I saw the fire, the crash, I smelled the gasoline and felt the heat upon my brow, and you say that son of a bitch is still alive?.”

- Timbro Nanen

”For legal reasons, I have never heard of that man before. And I never will have heard of that man before. Understand?"

- Golus Joyld

”I can't walk. I can barely sleep. Every day is a waking nightmare. If I ever see that man again, it will be the last day for one of us, I swear that to you.”

- Shrode Rondon